There's a quote from Marcus Aurelius that states ''ambition means tying your well-being to what other people say or do. Self indulgence means tying it to the things that happen to you. Sanity means tying it to your own actions.''
....Sanity is tying your wellbeing to your own actions.
This quote sums it up for me. We cannot allow our wellbeing to be tied to others actions or words, or the things that happen to us in life. Being at Cause (vs Effect) for what happens in our lives gives us a sense of empowerment and control over our own destinies and feelings.
I would hate for anyone to misunderstand what I am saying here. This is not a message about 'getting on with it' or making anyone feel like what they are going through is not traumatic, devastating and life changing. It absolutely is. What I am saying is that, as well as processing the grief and feeling the hurt and pain, we must also put together a way of life that ensures our own wellbeing and happiness through our own actions.
You probably have people in your life that seem to deal with life's ups and downs better than others. Or seem to be unphased about what people say or think about them. Whilst others are extremely hurt by the things other people say or do.
I believe wellbeing tied to our own actions comes from inner confidence and a strong sense of self. When we go through divorce this confidence and sense of self can take a really big hit, if it was even there in the first place.
Therefore we must, at some point, accept the things that have happened to us, owned any part we may have played in creating our reality and create an action plan to move forward. This is what I do with my clients. We deal with the emotional devastation of divorce, but we also work together on an action plan for the next day, week, month, year to ensure your future wellbeing. This action plan must come from a place of strength and confidence, which is a key element of my coaching practice.
To learn how more about how we do this together please reach out for a free discovery call.