Divorcing at any age is extremely challenging and traumatic. However, divorcing at a stage in life when many of your friends/work colleagues/family members are getting engaged, married, buying houses or having babies can bring about it’s own challenges.
Many of my clients (and myself included during my divorce) find themselves in a position where their marriages or long term relationships are ending in their early to mid 30s. They look around and find that their support network either have young families, or their friends are going through the excitement of getting engaged, planning or wedding or buying a home.
This can add to the stress and pain you may be feeling. You want to be happy for your friends, and yet you also feel like no one can understand the pain and struggle you are facing. I remember vividly realising that the friends I used to go out and socialise with before getting married, were now settling down themselves and were in a different phase of life to where I was now finding myself.
This can feel extremely lonely, at a time when you may already be struggling with being alone for the first time in a long time. You may feel none of your support network are in the same place as you in life and therefore do not understand what you are going through, as supportive as they may be.
As hard as this may be to do; don’t let this be another thing to worry about. Be happy and supportive of your friends in a different phase of life to you, but also protect your emotional wellbeing as needed and if that means saying ‘no’ to some social engagements that may trigger you then do so.
Ultimately what you will find is that your true friends are there for you no matter what phase of life they happen to be in. Some friendships may end during this period and others may be put on ice and come back around in the future. Once you have been through your divorce and come out the other side it’s amazing how many of your friends may one day need your help and advice when they find themselves in a similar position.
Finally, (and this is a real positive of getting divorced- promise!) you will find brand new, different friendships and support in the new life you are creating for yourself. Perhaps you will find yourself trying a new hobby and meeting some new faces there, or you will join a divorce support network and find people on a similar journey to you. However it happens, one of the upsides of going through a divorce is you will uncover the most amazing side of humanity and discover, that whether it be close friends or an acquaintance you barely knew before you got divorced, you will discover even stronger friendships during this time.
If you would like help and support in working through your divorce or separation please reach out to me for a free 30 minute discovery call to see how we could work together: firstname.lastname@example.org